gym visit
i haven't seen the inside of the gym for at least six weeks. my running, strength training, and gym classes were put on hold for this little thing called the bar exam. it took me about two weeks to build up the motivation to hit the gym again. last week, i ran with my TNT crew. we did interval training and it was tough with a capital t. due to feeling my pain, i was motivated to start up again.
on my three mile gym run, i was inspired to start a work out journal. it'll be my first. i hope to keep it up for at least a year. it'll be a simple journal, just a place to acknowledge my work outs, my weaknesses, my strengths. i started it last night.
this is why i love working out. you get small inspirations to do things with your life that you would never have the courage to do with out the physical, mental, and spiritual coming together in harmony.
updates
i have decided to hold off on the alaska marathon quest with TNT. right now, my life is in flux and i have (surprisingly) a lot on my plate. training for a marathon PLUS raising money is a lot of work. so, i've made the big girl step in stepping down from TNT, in hopes of coming back in summer season.
what does that mean? that means that i will continue to train, probably register for a few half marathons, and strengthen my muscles. around 30 is when women peak in their running, and i want to prepare my body for that peak.
i am registering for the NYC marathon lottery. i am looking for other marathons and hopefully will accomplish seeing two states in the United States via marathoning. :)
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
I'm Back!
Phew. It has been a really long time since we saw each other last. I've been MIA from the running scene. However, that is changing today. I will be running with my running buddies. I am making a schedule and sticking to it. I am excited! My goals this time around is a bit different. I want to run a bit faster. I want to make sure that I am healthy and stronger. I want to find a deeper connection to the cause.
I have signed up for the Alaska Marathon with TNT. I am worried about donor exhaustion. Many friends are doing different money-raising, social cause awareness events. So, I would be tapping into some people who are already donating hundreds.
But, I really want to see Alaska. I want to run for a person I ran for in SF who is no longer with us. I want to run hard. Let's see what happens.
If not in June, I'll keep training. I will also participate in halfs and maybe another marathon (if Alaska does not work). And finally, I will do a fall marathon. Maybe the DC Marine Corps in honor of my honored teammate. Let's see.
So happy to be back!
I have signed up for the Alaska Marathon with TNT. I am worried about donor exhaustion. Many friends are doing different money-raising, social cause awareness events. So, I would be tapping into some people who are already donating hundreds.
But, I really want to see Alaska. I want to run for a person I ran for in SF who is no longer with us. I want to run hard. Let's see what happens.
If not in June, I'll keep training. I will also participate in halfs and maybe another marathon (if Alaska does not work). And finally, I will do a fall marathon. Maybe the DC Marine Corps in honor of my honored teammate. Let's see.
So happy to be back!
Monday, October 22, 2007
i did it!!!!!!
i want to add more exclaimation marks, but that may be overdoing it just a BIT. ....so i'll do it here.
I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
26.2 MILES OF RUNNING!!!!!!!!!!
MY goodness, it was SO much fun and an amazing event!!!!!! i ran for about five hours, through the most beautiful parts of SF. first off, the weather was perfect. i have NEVER seen SF *that* perfect before. i want to do the run again just for that! secondly, i had 24 people to cheer me on! just for me!!! how FREAKIN' cool is that?! third, my coaches were there in spots i needed them to be. they were amazingly sweet and encouraging. fourth, the signs my friends and family made had me laughing (and other runners laughing) through out the course (particularly the reference to "The Office" and the "Run for Rabies 5K" poster). fifth, i didn't WALK AT ALL!!!!! i actually ran the entire time. i don't think i can do a final, but i'll do it to shut up. sixthly, i thought of priyanka, kavita, archana, vinay, bevin, adam, cathy, venkatesh, ram, arun, rose, mithun, ken, carl, mark and the hundreds of names i read on other people's shirts because if they could do it, then so could i!!!!!!!!
my goodness, y'all, it has been the best five months a young gal like me could have asked for and yesterday was just a celebration of it all. i'm not tired, i'm not hurting, i'm nothing BUT estatic that it happened.
AND I RAISED MORE THAN $10k!! if i can do it, ANYONE (literally anyone) can. lemme tell you how many older women/men, disabled men/women, bigger women/men i saw cross the finish line before me. i think i'll be gearing up for another race soon. :)
i'll definitely write more when i'm not so AHHHHHHH!!!! I DIDITIDIDITDIDIT mood! :)
Thursday, October 18, 2007
san francisco
i'm looking at a picture i have on my desk. it's a picture i took with my disposable camera while on top of the telegraph hills. the fog had just rolled through and the outskirts of the city looks wrapped around in white cotton. it's a beautiful picture in my mind.
in three days, i'll be running through that city. i'll be with my teammates and other folks from around the country trying to do what a small percentage of us actually accomplish. yesterday, my SIL said, "But a marathon is a huge accomplishment and life goal." it's true. it is a huge accomplishment. however, even if i don't cross the finish line because of an injury or health issues, in my mind, getting to the starting line is all that matters. maybe that is my life motto.
i've never been a great student. i never excelled in any subject or got straight As (or even straight Bs in certain years). but, i did attain my goals of going to a great university, a great public interest law school, and obtaining jobs that don't compromise my passions. i succeed in the minor ways, over looking some of the major things society applauds. i'm more of a battle person than a score card person.
for once in my life, i'm embracing myself and my motto. getting there is not half the battle, it's probably 80% of the battle. once we are there, it just takes a little bit more motivation to get through to the end.
after all that garble, my point is this- i already feel i have accomplished the marathon. i've raised more money than i thought i could, i've met amazing people who have motivated me to keep running and doing what i do, i've seen parts of NYC/NJ that i never would have ventured, and i've met myself at mile 18, my inner child who wants nothing more but to be done. all of that in less than five months.
three days from now, i'm be on the last leg of this wonderful mission.
in three days, i'll be running through that city. i'll be with my teammates and other folks from around the country trying to do what a small percentage of us actually accomplish. yesterday, my SIL said, "But a marathon is a huge accomplishment and life goal." it's true. it is a huge accomplishment. however, even if i don't cross the finish line because of an injury or health issues, in my mind, getting to the starting line is all that matters. maybe that is my life motto.
i've never been a great student. i never excelled in any subject or got straight As (or even straight Bs in certain years). but, i did attain my goals of going to a great university, a great public interest law school, and obtaining jobs that don't compromise my passions. i succeed in the minor ways, over looking some of the major things society applauds. i'm more of a battle person than a score card person.
for once in my life, i'm embracing myself and my motto. getting there is not half the battle, it's probably 80% of the battle. once we are there, it just takes a little bit more motivation to get through to the end.
after all that garble, my point is this- i already feel i have accomplished the marathon. i've raised more money than i thought i could, i've met amazing people who have motivated me to keep running and doing what i do, i've seen parts of NYC/NJ that i never would have ventured, and i've met myself at mile 18, my inner child who wants nothing more but to be done. all of that in less than five months.
three days from now, i'm be on the last leg of this wonderful mission.
almost there
i'm so close to achieving a fundraising dream of $10,000 when i cross the finish line on Sunday. it's freaking amazing that i can even write those words. i want to underscore that my biggest block in signing up for this race was thinking about fundraising. i'm amazed at all the donors (look to the right!)....
although you don't see the donation numbers right beside each donor, i want you to know that no one donated more than $400. only three individuals gave more than $300. the majority of my donors donated on average $25-50.
i am deeply inspired by those that are giving (and some gave twice!) to this run, this cause, and to my many friends who i started running for and will be running for on sunday.
although you don't see the donation numbers right beside each donor, i want you to know that no one donated more than $400. only three individuals gave more than $300. the majority of my donors donated on average $25-50.
i am deeply inspired by those that are giving (and some gave twice!) to this run, this cause, and to my many friends who i started running for and will be running for on sunday.
Monday, October 15, 2007
SIX DAYS!
I have six days left until the big day! I can't believe that October 21, 2007 is right around the corner. I am super excited to be that much closer to the finish line, the Tiffany's necklace, and a few mandatory spa visits. :)
I'm thinking about donating my Tiffany's necklace. I want to see what it looks like before doing so, in case I truly fall in love with it. I believe it is a runner pendant on a silver chain. Let's see, let's see!
I'm super excited to see my family, my friends, and my teammates running, cheering, and being lively on Sunday.
To those who read this blog, thank you for all the support and love you have given to me since May. Of course I will continue to write in the next days and after the race to give a wrap-up.
I'm thinking about donating my Tiffany's necklace. I want to see what it looks like before doing so, in case I truly fall in love with it. I believe it is a runner pendant on a silver chain. Let's see, let's see!
I'm super excited to see my family, my friends, and my teammates running, cheering, and being lively on Sunday.
To those who read this blog, thank you for all the support and love you have given to me since May. Of course I will continue to write in the next days and after the race to give a wrap-up.
Friday, October 12, 2007
If you have been living under a rock, you may not know about Vinay. Over the past summer, thousands of South Asians gave their spit and registered in the South Asian Marrow Association of Recruiters database. You can read more about Vinay over here. Not only did his positivity and love inspire me, but so did his family and friends' love. I contacted Priya, Vinay's wife, back in June to do an interview. Before I knew it, it was September and I had yet to fulfill my promise. After a few emails back and forth, Bharath, Vinay's older brother, helped me out by gladly accepting the invitation for the interview.
Chai: Describe your relationship with Vinay.
Bharath: Vinay is my younger brother… but more than that he’s a part of my inner being.
C: What's a funny story of you and Vinay that highlights your personalities?
B: Once when Vinay and I were working with our computer he wanted to delete a certain file to free up hard drive space. But accidentally he deleted the WHOLE hard drive. The computer asked 3 times, “are you sure you want to delete the drive?” and Vinay answered “Yes." “Are you really sure you want to delete the drive?” Again he answered, “Yes." And after the final warning he zapped the whole hard drive. Of course he didn’t tell anyone until I stumbled upon an empty drive and a nonfunctional computer a few days later. Hilarious!
C: When you heard your brother's diagnosis, what were the first thoughts that went through your head?
B: I was in shock. I couldn’t believe that a person that looked so strong, healthy and has led a disciplined life could have such a devastating diagnosis. I wished I could be the one in his place...
B: Well sustainability is one of the ultimate goals of TEAM VINAY. We’re already very happy about creating a desi website on NMDP.org and in implementing a cultural competent call back protocol for those volunteers who are possible matches. There is also a concerted movement to assist in the creation of an Indian national marrow program.
C: Have you ever ran a marathon? If so, what advice do you have for me? If not, can I convince you to train for one of the Leukeumia and Lymphoma Society's runs?
B: I ran the Boston marathon a while back, as a pirate runner. When you feel like stopping and can’t go any further, think off all the cancer patients and what they’ve been through and how you wouldn’t want them to quit.
C: Um, what is a pirate runner? Like you got dressed up?
B: A pirate runner is a non-registered runner. I didn't have an official number and didn't have to qualify/raise money.
C: I'm sure your brother will credit you with his positive attitude. How did you remain positive and reassuring through these hard times?
B: I reserved my ” personal moments” with my wife Sonia. Confidence and calm attitude can be very contagious so I do my best to be encouraging through the ups and downs. Having a transplant is a marathon. It’s not a 50-yard dash, so you have to pace yourself and keep moving forward at a steady pace.
C: Finally, for some runners who run with i-Pods, what is your favorite song/band/rap right now and why?
B: My favorite running album is “Ten” from Pearl Jam. Just a real shot in the arm w/ all those guitar sets.
Chai: Describe your relationship with Vinay.
Bharath: Vinay is my younger brother… but more than that he’s a part of my inner being.
C: What's a funny story of you and Vinay that highlights your personalities?
B: Once when Vinay and I were working with our computer he wanted to delete a certain file to free up hard drive space. But accidentally he deleted the WHOLE hard drive. The computer asked 3 times, “are you sure you want to delete the drive?” and Vinay answered “Yes." “Are you really sure you want to delete the drive?” Again he answered, “Yes." And after the final warning he zapped the whole hard drive. Of course he didn’t tell anyone until I stumbled upon an empty drive and a nonfunctional computer a few days later. Hilarious!
C: When you heard your brother's diagnosis, what were the first thoughts that went through your head?
B: I was in shock. I couldn’t believe that a person that looked so strong, healthy and has led a disciplined life could have such a devastating diagnosis. I wished I could be the one in his place...
C: After Vinay was diagnosed, what type of support did you & your family receive from the hospital? What mental health support did your family receive?
B: Our family was extremely fortunate in that it is large and very very tight. So most of our social and moral support came from within... That being said, the hospital staff was extremely attentive and the nurses are really what run the show. Vinay was blessed to have wonderful nurses during his hospitalizations and they treated him as if he were their own family member. One nurse, Judy, had the most soothing demeanor, even during the most stressful of periods. I couldn't help but wish that all nurses were just like her.
C: The South Asian marrow drives have been a great success. How did you galvanize the South Asian American community to get involved in Vinay's plight?
B: Without the help of all of our family, friends and extended community, we would not have accomplished as much as we did. We had very strong leadership and many talented individuals who had immediate skills to help create an atmosphere of success.
C: What life lessons have you learned from Vinay and this ordeal that can educate the readers?
B: Some of the life lessons are very cliché. Life is precious, and live every moment. They are very very true. I think we seem to be reminded by it every once in a while. I read once that you shouldn’t sweat the small stuff… and life is all about the small stuff.
C: Do you think what your brother went through has changed your view on dealing with patients in your own medical practice?
B: I seem to feel a bit more connected in assisting younger patients who are diagnosed w/ life threatening illnesses and I think a small part of me does a bit extra for those diagnosed with cancer.
B: Well sustainability is one of the ultimate goals of TEAM VINAY. We’re already very happy about creating a desi website on NMDP.org and in implementing a cultural competent call back protocol for those volunteers who are possible matches. There is also a concerted movement to assist in the creation of an Indian national marrow program.
C: Have you ever ran a marathon? If so, what advice do you have for me? If not, can I convince you to train for one of the Leukeumia and Lymphoma Society's runs?
B: I ran the Boston marathon a while back, as a pirate runner. When you feel like stopping and can’t go any further, think off all the cancer patients and what they’ve been through and how you wouldn’t want them to quit.
C: Um, what is a pirate runner? Like you got dressed up?
B: A pirate runner is a non-registered runner. I didn't have an official number and didn't have to qualify/raise money.
C: I'm sure your brother will credit you with his positive attitude. How did you remain positive and reassuring through these hard times?
B: I reserved my ” personal moments” with my wife Sonia. Confidence and calm attitude can be very contagious so I do my best to be encouraging through the ups and downs. Having a transplant is a marathon. It’s not a 50-yard dash, so you have to pace yourself and keep moving forward at a steady pace.
C: Finally, for some runners who run with i-Pods, what is your favorite song/band/rap right now and why?
B: My favorite running album is “Ten” from Pearl Jam. Just a real shot in the arm w/ all those guitar sets.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Running on Positive
I've been trying to get personal interviews with my honored teammates for this blog. Some of my teammates I know personally, others are friends/family of my friends and family. Sibil, one of my earliest donors to this run, asked me to run for her friend Bevin. In early September, I sent him a list of questions for the interview. Since most of us have schedule driven lives, I thought it would be easier for people to answer questions via email, then in-person or on the phone. I never received a response. Lask week, in my facebook inbox, I received this email from Sibil:
My heart slowed down. Here I was thinking that he was too busy/didn't care/forgot about the questionnaire. In reality, he was someplace else, dealing with the cancer demon. Although it is very unfortunate that the cancer came back, Bevin has inspired me to run farther, faster, and better. And he has inspired me to continue raising money. There still is NO cure.
If you are in New York City this week, here are two events happening for him:
Hey Chai!
how are you? i hope you're doing well. i was wondering if you ever heard from bevin? i just saw an email today from my church youth fellowship asking us to keep bevin in prayer b/c he's back in the hospital. It seems his cancer came back and I am hearing he might need a bone marrow transplant. Hopefully his sisters test as a positive match. Details are sketchy right now, I want to speak to some closer, reliable sources that know exactly what is going on. But please keep him in your prayers and if he's MIA with answering back, you'll know why.
It's definitely disheartening to hear this news. Especially since lately I have seen him looking so heathly and happy and just living his life to the fullest.
Anyway, just wanted to drop you a line and let you know.
Sibil
My heart slowed down. Here I was thinking that he was too busy/didn't care/forgot about the questionnaire. In reality, he was someplace else, dealing with the cancer demon. Although it is very unfortunate that the cancer came back, Bevin has inspired me to run farther, faster, and better. And he has inspired me to continue raising money. There still is NO cure.
If you are in New York City this week, here are two events happening for him:
Swab 4 Bevin
Please come out and support on Thursday, Oct.11th at BAR 13 35 E 13th Street (6:30-9:30 p.m.)
OR
Saturday, Oct.13th
KATWALK
2 West 35th Street (Btwn 5th & 6th Ave)
New York. NY 10001
(6-9 p.m.)
Our friend Bevin Varughese was diagnosed with ALL(Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia) in January 2004. He has been undergoing treatment since January 2004 at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. Bevin won the fight and was in remission for about nine months.
In Mid-September 2007 Bevin's cancer had returned. He urgently needs a bone marrow transplant. His family and friends, have begun a nationwide effort to find Bevin a match. We are trying to reach as many South Asians as possible and get them registered at one of our drives.
South Asians are sadly underrepresented in the National Bone Marrow Registry. Our goal is to change that. A Caucasian seeking a match in the registry averages 15 hits; where a South Asian matches 1 or 0. You can change that statistic.
How You Can Help:
YOU - through a simple cheek swab - could be that miracle match for Bevin, or for someone else needing a bone marrow match.
• Please come out and register at one of our upcoming drives. All it takes is a few minutes of your time
Please add Live Strong Bevin as your Facebook friend to stay updated on latest news and events!
www.swab4bevin.com (coming soon!)
Monday, October 1, 2007
home stretch...
Sorry for not updating this blog in the past two weeks. I have been really busy a) at work, b) in the park running, and/or c) entertaining the slew of friends/family that are coming through new york right now.
I have a lot to highlight and moments to share:
I have a lot to highlight and moments to share:
- I ran in my first 1/2 marathon race! It took place in Queens (one of the five boroughs of NYC) and it was a great run. Although many of my teammates complained about the turns and hills, I didn't care much because I was on a high that I was running. The week before this race, I did not run due to an illness (the common cold/flu). My time? 2:08. The distance? 13.1 miles. Here are some pics:
- I ran my second 20 miler. Again, it was hell. But unlike the first time, I was running in a National Park in New Jersey. Running on gravel/dirt vs. asphalt is QUITE different, especially for my weak hips. I was on the verge of tears near mile 18. I stopped and walked and kept saying how this is hell. Towards the end, two of my teammates who were behind me said, "Keep moving those feet, you'll get there." Grudingly I did move my feet and I did get there, albeit nearly four hours later.
- I talked to the main coach, Ramon, on Saturday and shared with him my thoughts. I won't lie to you all, I am nervous about this marathon. If I felt pain around mile 16 or 18, I'm scared what type of pain I will feel when I'm done. I'm fairly certain I will have tears, mixed emotions and pain. He looked me in the eyes and said in his thick Spanish accent, "You will finish. It is normal to have doubt." That made me feel a WHOLE lot better.
Now I am here. The last three weeks of practice. Wow, I'm surprised at how nervous I am right now with just typing those words. Phew. Oh, and I need to raise $1500 to reach my dream goal of $10K.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
20 miles.
i ran 20 miles on saturday. yup, twenty. i imagined running from home town to my friend's hometown which is roughly twenty miles apart. that's insane.
there were a few weird things about this run. first, all twenty miles were ran in central park. that's unusual for long runs. second, i ran by myself. i haven't ran every single long mile by myself since i trained in 2005. it was a challenge, but at the same time, very enjoyable.
around mile 19, i was on the verge of tears because of the pain shooting through my left knee. it is not unusual for runners to experience knee pain. this pain wasn't different from any other pain i felt on my other long runs, but unlike other long runs, it was an obstacle that i had to mentally overcome. meaning this run was mentally challenging.
i started talking to myself starting at mile 16. underneath my breathe, i kept saying, "come on" or "you can do it." i did think about kavita, my honored teammate, and my mom. i also thought about all the donors and how they believed in me. it was refreshing to have a team of people to think about. my mind drifted back and forth to oct. 21, 2007, listening to the crowd cheer, seeing my family & friends, and crossing the finish line. i then thought about last year, october 21, 2006 and how i living at home, spending a weekend in vegas for SKP's bachelorette party. things have changed!
here are my stats:
first six miles (CP loop): 1:02
second six miles (CP loop): 1:03
first four miles (72-102 loop): 0:42
second four miles (72-102 loop): 0:50
total: 3:40
i came home, ate, and passed out.
there were a few weird things about this run. first, all twenty miles were ran in central park. that's unusual for long runs. second, i ran by myself. i haven't ran every single long mile by myself since i trained in 2005. it was a challenge, but at the same time, very enjoyable.
around mile 19, i was on the verge of tears because of the pain shooting through my left knee. it is not unusual for runners to experience knee pain. this pain wasn't different from any other pain i felt on my other long runs, but unlike other long runs, it was an obstacle that i had to mentally overcome. meaning this run was mentally challenging.
i started talking to myself starting at mile 16. underneath my breathe, i kept saying, "come on" or "you can do it." i did think about kavita, my honored teammate, and my mom. i also thought about all the donors and how they believed in me. it was refreshing to have a team of people to think about. my mind drifted back and forth to oct. 21, 2007, listening to the crowd cheer, seeing my family & friends, and crossing the finish line. i then thought about last year, october 21, 2006 and how i living at home, spending a weekend in vegas for SKP's bachelorette party. things have changed!
here are my stats:
first six miles (CP loop): 1:02
second six miles (CP loop): 1:03
first four miles (72-102 loop): 0:42
second four miles (72-102 loop): 0:50
total: 3:40
i came home, ate, and passed out.
Friday, September 14, 2007
My Honored Teammate: Archana
Part two of my installment of "My Honored Teammates" is a profile of Archana. Archana and I are from the same Indian community, just like Kavita and Priyanka, my other honored teammates. However, unlike the others, Archana and I met just recently in 2006. Very Generation 2.0, we did "meet" online in late 2005 through an online site our community youth created. We shared a common love for liberal politics, Anne of Green Gables, and compulsive writing. :)
With that simple introduction to a very amazing woman, here is my interview with Archana:
Chai (C): Tell me what you are studying.
Archana (A): I am about to finish my Master's of Public Administration, which is a combo of policy, government and public management.
C: You are an avid traveler. What is the coolest country you have been to? What made it interesting?
A: I actually think India wins the prize, more on a personal level than anything. I lived there for a year when I was very young, and almost my entire family lives there... the experience of visiting India doesn't quite compare to anything else.
A: The Canadian system provides universal access to care, which is usually labelled as "free" but more accurately paid for by taxes. Ipersonally had amazing care mainly because my cancer was so far advanced. Canadian healthcare is superb for critical care; so even though the waittimes for a CT scan were 96 days at the time of my diagnosis, I only waited 2 days. I had an ultrasound, CT scan, biopsy surgery, bone marrow biopsy and my first chemo all within 3.5 weeks (and all for no fee). It was pretty impressive!
With that simple introduction to a very amazing woman, here is my interview with Archana:
Chai (C): Tell me what you are studying.
Archana (A): I am about to finish my Master's of Public Administration, which is a combo of policy, government and public management.
C: You are an avid traveler. What is the coolest country you have been to? What made it interesting?
A: I actually think India wins the prize, more on a personal level than anything. I lived there for a year when I was very young, and almost my entire family lives there... the experience of visiting India doesn't quite compare to anything else.
C: I know you love some spicy food. What is your favorite spicy dish? What is your favorite hot sauce?
A: Ooooh, lamb vindaloo. I had an irrational fixation on it during chemo, and it still satisfies me to no end to be able to eat it again, especially when it's so spicy that it burns my throat. A close second is West Indian goat curry with scotch bonnett pepper sauce, it makes me cry every time, but it is oh-so-worth-it! My mama's hot sauce wins hands down. She makes it roughly once every 5 years, and I have never found anything I enjoy more in a hot sauce.
C: Damn, my mouth is watering and I don't eat meat! What is on your radar after your done attending school?
A: Hmm, still creating the dots on that radar. There will be playtime. There will also be hometime. And work abroad if my body is ready. Otherwise more international health work in Canada, US, Europe. After the cancer experience, it has been pretty hard to allow myself to plan ahead in any long-term sense, which is something I'm hoping to overcome eventually. But that has given me plenty of short-term goals! Let's just say I will explore my options.
C: Has cancer affected your ability to understand health care policy?
A: That's a really hard question. I actually try not to think of my own experiences too much at work, because each disease and country and demographic has its own requirements that I'm fearful I will overlook if I look too far inwards. I have focused on infectious diseases in my work, and it would probably be better if the cancer policy wogs focused on cancer. I'm also pretty weary of spending my life in the developed world trying to "fix" the developing world from my cushy lifestyle.
C: Damn, my mouth is watering and I don't eat meat! What is on your radar after your done attending school?A: Hmm, still creating the dots on that radar. There will be playtime. There will also be hometime. And work abroad if my body is ready. Otherwise more international health work in Canada, US, Europe. After the cancer experience, it has been pretty hard to allow myself to plan ahead in any long-term sense, which is something I'm hoping to overcome eventually. But that has given me plenty of short-term goals! Let's just say I will explore my options.
C: Has cancer affected your ability to understand health care policy?
A: That's a really hard question. I actually try not to think of my own experiences too much at work, because each disease and country and demographic has its own requirements that I'm fearful I will overlook if I look too far inwards. I have focused on infectious diseases in my work, and it would probably be better if the cancer policy wogs focused on cancer. I'm also pretty weary of spending my life in the developed world trying to "fix" the developing world from my cushy lifestyle.
I have always travelled frequently and widely, and it has been a difficult adjustment to stay (relatively) grounded until my body has fully recuperated. But losing the luxury of travel, even temporarily, has given me a newfound goal to shy away from engaging in projects that are purely from the developed world cushy lifestyle and to focus more on front-line, pragmatic approaches that actually reflect patients' experiences in the developing world itself. Part of my antsiness to work abroad has been to prove to myself that the cancer is finally in the past (at least physically), but I am also more aware than ever of how crucial the experience is to my work.
C: Since most of the blog readers are living in the U.S., describe the health care system in Canada and if you felt you got the best care during your cancer treatments.
C: Since most of the blog readers are living in the U.S., describe the health care system in Canada and if you felt you got the best care during your cancer treatments.
A: The Canadian system provides universal access to care, which is usually labelled as "free" but more accurately paid for by taxes. Ipersonally had amazing care mainly because my cancer was so far advanced. Canadian healthcare is superb for critical care; so even though the waittimes for a CT scan were 96 days at the time of my diagnosis, I only waited 2 days. I had an ultrasound, CT scan, biopsy surgery, bone marrow biopsy and my first chemo all within 3.5 weeks (and all for no fee). It was pretty impressive!
I was misdiagnosed for the first 2 months of chemo, which I suppose many would blame on the "free" system. But I attribute the misdiagnosis to human error, which would be equally possible in a private system. I also had daily self-injections that were not covered by public health care, and cost $50 a shot. I was fortunate enough to be able to receive the injections, but it was quite sad to see the importance of the injections in survival and also meet patients in the clinic who could not afford them.
I think the biggest hurdle to the level of care I received was actually because of how advanced the cancer was. Because I was already so sick when I entered the scene, my doctors were all far more concerned with my chemo regimen and seeing improvements as quickly as possible, but were much less concerned with managing my pain. Since they can trace symptoms of the cancer back to 2003, and since the chemo only added to the pain of my symptoms, the lack of pain management was easily the hardest part of my experience. I have not fully digested whether or not this is related to Canada having a public system
C: If you can name one person (and only one), who has been your role model in your life?
I think the biggest hurdle to the level of care I received was actually because of how advanced the cancer was. Because I was already so sick when I entered the scene, my doctors were all far more concerned with my chemo regimen and seeing improvements as quickly as possible, but were much less concerned with managing my pain. Since they can trace symptoms of the cancer back to 2003, and since the chemo only added to the pain of my symptoms, the lack of pain management was easily the hardest part of my experience. I have not fully digested whether or not this is related to Canada having a public system
C: If you can name one person (and only one), who has been your role model in your life?
A: There are many individuals that inspire me, but I'd have to say the one I turn to with most consistency is my sister. Most people know she's the closest person to me, but I probably don't explain where my respect for her comes from as often as I should. For as long as I can remember, Ashita has been an over-achiever, constantly involved in activities, social circles, crafts, you name it. It is so infectious that I think for most people who know her, we can't imagine being any other way ourselves. I skipped a grade when I was quite young, and we have been in the same grade since. I think other people may have found that quite difficult and suffocating, but my sister has always been very loving and excelled in everything she has done, even with her baby sister all of a sudden around all the time. I have also always loved how my sister can be responsible and practical but also silly and goofy, and I find that I gravitate to individuals who have the same balance she has. Ashita is so incredibly good at reminding me that it is okay to react, to be angry, to feel sad, and also to be happy, to smile, and to love.
C: Aww. Ashita is a great role model. As a youngster, what did you want to be when you were a "grown up"?
A: (laughter) I think I wanted to pump gas at a gas station! I always loved their jumpsuits, and the satisfaction of squeegee-ing clean a windshield, and the smell of gas.
C: When you were going through chemo, what motivated you to stay strong through it all? Or do you even think you stayed strong?
A: During chemo itself, it wasn't at all about strength. It was about finding ways to pass the days, ignore the pain, and find even one reason a day to smile or laugh. It was mostly an out-of-body experience... my body fought the cancer and the chemicals while my mind watched helplessly.
A: During chemo itself, it wasn't at all about strength. It was about finding ways to pass the days, ignore the pain, and find even one reason a day to smile or laugh. It was mostly an out-of-body experience... my body fought the cancer and the chemicals while my mind watched helplessly.
I have felt considerably weaker since my treatment ended. Regaining my physical energy somehow unleashed an incredible amount of emotional weakness. But I suppose like the physical battle, we don't have much of a choice and someday it is just in our past and we are grateful for that.
C: You know I love books. And I know YOU love books. Who is your favorite author(s) and why?
C: You know I love books. And I know YOU love books. Who is your favorite author(s) and why?
A: I am a big fan of Chuck Palahniuk, mainly because he is so descriptive without being verbose. I despise flashy writing that uses too many metaphors, and he somehow conveys exactly what we need in half the number of words others seem to need. I am also a huge fan of Mitch Albom, who has yet to write a book that hasn't made me bawl uncontrollably.
C: Some of my teammates are cancer survivors. Do you think I can convince you one day to train and run in a marathon with me?
A: (smiling) Suuuuure. My endurance might take a few years to catch up to you though!
C: Free style.
A: Thank you for dedicating so much of yourself to this cause. I wish I could come cheer you on. There will definitely be a Canadian hootin and hollerin from the east coast on October 21.
C: Some of my teammates are cancer survivors. Do you think I can convince you one day to train and run in a marathon with me?
A: (smiling) Suuuuure. My endurance might take a few years to catch up to you though!
C: Free style.
A: Thank you for dedicating so much of yourself to this cause. I wish I could come cheer you on. There will definitely be a Canadian hootin and hollerin from the east coast on October 21.
C: Thanks, Archana!
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
The Hills...
are alive....with the sound of music (in mmmyyyyy head). Yesterday, I had to do hill repeats. For those familiar with Central Park, I ran from E. 72nd to 90th (roughly a mile) on an effort level 3.5 (on a scale of 1 to 5). This terrain is called "Cat's Hill" and it has both steep incline and steady incline on the way up. We had to use the same effort level and shave off 20 seconds on the way down. We did this routine twice.
First mile up: 8:30 minutes
First mile down: 8:22 minutes
Second mile up: 8:52 minutes
Second mile down: 8:30 minutes
After this routine, we had to run with all our might from E. 72nd to the top of the hill (around E.79th) and then recover on the way down. We did this twice w/o timing.
Two lessons I learned:
1) I am horrible at math. The main reason I didn't shave off twenty seconds on the way down the hill is because I thought 8:30-20 seconds= 8:20. I don't know why. I call it my "runner's brain," sometimes similar to a "chemo brain" as my cancer survivor teammates say.
2) I have the strangest songs pop into my head. At yesterday's training, I had the following song in my head.
The beast being the marathon, I presume. It was a helpful song.
And I crashed when I got home.
First mile up: 8:30 minutes
First mile down: 8:22 minutes
Second mile up: 8:52 minutes
Second mile down: 8:30 minutes
After this routine, we had to run with all our might from E. 72nd to the top of the hill (around E.79th) and then recover on the way down. We did this twice w/o timing.
Two lessons I learned:
1) I am horrible at math. The main reason I didn't shave off twenty seconds on the way down the hill is because I thought 8:30-20 seconds= 8:20. I don't know why. I call it my "runner's brain," sometimes similar to a "chemo brain" as my cancer survivor teammates say.
2) I have the strangest songs pop into my head. At yesterday's training, I had the following song in my head.
The beast being the marathon, I presume. It was a helpful song.
And I crashed when I got home.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
My Honored Teammate: Kavita
As the countdown begins, I am rolling out "My Honored Teammates" format, where I will interview all of honored teammates, even the ones that I just met a few weeks ago.
I've known Kavita practically all of my life. But you know with childhood friends, you never really know them until later. Maybe it has to do wtih the fact that you take them for granted. Or maybe you think they still see you as the bratty eight year-old. Whatever it is, childhood friendships are different. They are more deep and real than I think one could possibly imagine. I never thought that a friendship like the one I have with Kavita would take me down this route, but what an amazing route it has been.
In an awkward fashion for me, but a normal fashion for you, I interviewed Kavita. I want you to get to know one of my childhood friends and one of my biggest inspirations.
Chai: Tell me what you are studying.
Kavita: I am getting my Masters in Music at The Boston Conservatory for VocalPerformance.
C: What is the coolest venue you have ever sung? What made it so cool?
K: The coolest venue I've sung in is probably the Boston Symphony Hall - The hall is considered to be one of three greatest concert halls in the world. (and is one of the oldest in the u.s.). I sang with a women's choir a commercial piece for an animator whose shorthad won an award and was going to be premiered at Disney (I don't recall the actual logistics, but it was something like that.) The hall made me feel that I was a part of something very grand and historical. It was beautiful.
C: Have you always wanted to be a singer?
K: I wouldn't say that I've always "dreamed" of singing, but I always knew that music would be a significant part of my life no matter what instrument, what genre or in what way.
C: What is on your radar after your done attending school?
K: I am prepared to go wherever life takes me. That was one of the morals of my cancer story - you can never plan too far ahead. After I graduate, I plan to audition for local choirs, chorus positions in operas, paint more, write more and hopefully sell a couple cds. Who knows what's going to happen?
C: How has cancer affected your ability to sing or has it?
K: The doctors found 2 lumps; one in my neck and one in my lungs. Therefore I had radiation directly to my lungs, throat, and larynx. They said they didn't know what the consequences were going to be. I was prepared for the worst. When I went back to finish my undergrad degree, my lung capacity was compromised, but I didn't care. I'mstill recuperating and my voice is definitely different than it was, but I don't think it's worse..it's just...different.
BUT, on to my next hurdle. When I recently went to my checkup, they said because I got radiation to my thyroid, it's starting to fail. So they put me on meds. I didn't worry too much, but when I went to see the endocrinologist, he told me to go get an ultrasound of my thyroid "just in case." Turns out, I have nodes on my thyroid - a bunch of little ones on the left and a big one on the right. The big one could be cancerous. If I have nodes on my thyroid, it's highly possible that I have nodes on my vocal chords.
So the next step is to go get a biopsy. Here we go again...
If I do have nodes on my vocal chords, that means I need to take months possibly years off of singing. Cross your fingers.
C: Our fingers are crossed! Did you ever fear that your illness would affect your singing?
K: Yes, during treatment I kept wondering what my musical future would hold because everything was so up in the air. Now however, I feel that even if I couldn't sing classical music professionally, I have many other options. Before being diagnosed, I could not write music. I just couldn't. I would try to sit down and write a song and nothing would come out. And now I can.
And I am painting so much more now. And I write a lot. I feel like I could be happy doing many things. Music just needs to be IN my life, I certainly don't need to make money off of it. In fact, it's probably better if Idon't.
C: Do you write your own lyrics?
K: Yes I write my own lyrics. Writing songs is so much fun.
C: As a youngster, what did you want to be when you were "grown up"?
K: It's interesting because I was never that type of person that always wanted to do something and only that something. My mom used to hop around from job to job and I always used to think that that was so fun. My goal has always been, to do Everything at least once. Haha.
C: When you were going through chemo, what motivated you to stay strong through it all? Or do you even think you stayed strong?
K: During chemo and radiation, there is no choice. You just kind of have to brace yourself and get through it. And I feel like I wasn't that strong. I would let my mind get the better of me (the goddamn steroids make you think and think and think like a coke addict on vicodin.) But in the end, it all came down to my family and my friends, and how much of my life I HADN'T lived yet. I wasn't ready to go. And I felt I had so much to offer.
That is something you realize - how much you have to give. The year after treatment was the most productive I've ever been. Maybe because on some level I genuinely felt like I might not have that much time left.
C: For a person who enjoys her share of music venues, where would you suggest I go the next time I come to Boston?
K: I've been to the Boston Lyrics Opera twice since i've been here and they are phenomenal. For like, rock/live music venues, I recommend a bar called T.T. The Bears. It's great fun. For Jazz, I recommend a place called Wallys in Southy. They were one of the first jazz bars ever.C: Some of my teammates are cancer survivors. Do you think I can convince you one day to train and run in a marathon with me? :)
K: Like I said earlier, my lung capacity sucks. So I would LOVE to train. But I don't know how successful I'd be. But hey, why not. Let's do it.
C: Free style.
K: I think you are an amazing person, and I can't wait to see where YOU'RE going to go, in your career and in your passions. All of us with the same motivations need to come together and do something great.
Links:
http://www.kavitart.com/
http://www.myspace.com/kavitamusic
http://www.myspace.com/kavitart
http://www.uplifted-aph.org/
I've known Kavita practically all of my life. But you know with childhood friends, you never really know them until later. Maybe it has to do wtih the fact that you take them for granted. Or maybe you think they still see you as the bratty eight year-old. Whatever it is, childhood friendships are different. They are more deep and real than I think one could possibly imagine. I never thought that a friendship like the one I have with Kavita would take me down this route, but what an amazing route it has been.
In an awkward fashion for me, but a normal fashion for you, I interviewed Kavita. I want you to get to know one of my childhood friends and one of my biggest inspirations.
Chai: Tell me what you are studying.
Kavita: I am getting my Masters in Music at The Boston Conservatory for VocalPerformance.
C: What is the coolest venue you have ever sung? What made it so cool?
K: The coolest venue I've sung in is probably the Boston Symphony Hall - The hall is considered to be one of three greatest concert halls in the world. (and is one of the oldest in the u.s.). I sang with a women's choir a commercial piece for an animator whose shorthad won an award and was going to be premiered at Disney (I don't recall the actual logistics, but it was something like that.) The hall made me feel that I was a part of something very grand and historical. It was beautiful.
C: Have you always wanted to be a singer?
K: I wouldn't say that I've always "dreamed" of singing, but I always knew that music would be a significant part of my life no matter what instrument, what genre or in what way.
C: What is on your radar after your done attending school?K: I am prepared to go wherever life takes me. That was one of the morals of my cancer story - you can never plan too far ahead. After I graduate, I plan to audition for local choirs, chorus positions in operas, paint more, write more and hopefully sell a couple cds. Who knows what's going to happen?
C: How has cancer affected your ability to sing or has it?
K: The doctors found 2 lumps; one in my neck and one in my lungs. Therefore I had radiation directly to my lungs, throat, and larynx. They said they didn't know what the consequences were going to be. I was prepared for the worst. When I went back to finish my undergrad degree, my lung capacity was compromised, but I didn't care. I'mstill recuperating and my voice is definitely different than it was, but I don't think it's worse..it's just...different.
BUT, on to my next hurdle. When I recently went to my checkup, they said because I got radiation to my thyroid, it's starting to fail. So they put me on meds. I didn't worry too much, but when I went to see the endocrinologist, he told me to go get an ultrasound of my thyroid "just in case." Turns out, I have nodes on my thyroid - a bunch of little ones on the left and a big one on the right. The big one could be cancerous. If I have nodes on my thyroid, it's highly possible that I have nodes on my vocal chords.
So the next step is to go get a biopsy. Here we go again...
If I do have nodes on my vocal chords, that means I need to take months possibly years off of singing. Cross your fingers.
C: Our fingers are crossed! Did you ever fear that your illness would affect your singing?
K: Yes, during treatment I kept wondering what my musical future would hold because everything was so up in the air. Now however, I feel that even if I couldn't sing classical music professionally, I have many other options. Before being diagnosed, I could not write music. I just couldn't. I would try to sit down and write a song and nothing would come out. And now I can.
And I am painting so much more now. And I write a lot. I feel like I could be happy doing many things. Music just needs to be IN my life, I certainly don't need to make money off of it. In fact, it's probably better if Idon't.
C: Do you write your own lyrics?
K: Yes I write my own lyrics. Writing songs is so much fun.
C: As a youngster, what did you want to be when you were "grown up"?
K: It's interesting because I was never that type of person that always wanted to do something and only that something. My mom used to hop around from job to job and I always used to think that that was so fun. My goal has always been, to do Everything at least once. Haha.
C: When you were going through chemo, what motivated you to stay strong through it all? Or do you even think you stayed strong?
K: During chemo and radiation, there is no choice. You just kind of have to brace yourself and get through it. And I feel like I wasn't that strong. I would let my mind get the better of me (the goddamn steroids make you think and think and think like a coke addict on vicodin.) But in the end, it all came down to my family and my friends, and how much of my life I HADN'T lived yet. I wasn't ready to go. And I felt I had so much to offer.
That is something you realize - how much you have to give. The year after treatment was the most productive I've ever been. Maybe because on some level I genuinely felt like I might not have that much time left.
C: For a person who enjoys her share of music venues, where would you suggest I go the next time I come to Boston?
K: I've been to the Boston Lyrics Opera twice since i've been here and they are phenomenal. For like, rock/live music venues, I recommend a bar called T.T. The Bears. It's great fun. For Jazz, I recommend a place called Wallys in Southy. They were one of the first jazz bars ever.C: Some of my teammates are cancer survivors. Do you think I can convince you one day to train and run in a marathon with me? :)
K: Like I said earlier, my lung capacity sucks. So I would LOVE to train. But I don't know how successful I'd be. But hey, why not. Let's do it.
C: Free style.
K: I think you are an amazing person, and I can't wait to see where YOU'RE going to go, in your career and in your passions. All of us with the same motivations need to come together and do something great.
Links:
http://www.kavitart.com/
http://www.myspace.com/kavitamusic
http://www.myspace.com/kavitart
http://www.uplifted-aph.org/
Monday, August 27, 2007
from the mailbag
to: tntchai@gmail.com
from: M@hotmail.com
subject: re: Thank you!
date: 8/27/07
Hi Chai!
Thanks for giving me the opportunity to donate, and please continue nagging my brother to do the same :) (He has the best intentions, but the sheer force of his laziness overwhelms them...) I had been meaning to donate for some time, but the event that finally prompted me to conquer my laziness was a visit from one of my most memorable patients.
As you know, my specialty is blood disease - so I cover benign hematology (ie. blood clots, bleeding) and malignant hematology (leukemia, lymphoma, bone marrow transplant). My career is weighted towards the former, because though the latter is very challenging and interesting, it's overwhelmingly sad. The first leukemia patient I saw when I moved to Toronto was a 23 year old man. N. presented like all leukemia patients - suddenly and terrifyingly. He was well one morning, and then the next morning his entire bone marrow was taken over by leukemia cells. He was septic, bleeding, and too weak to walk unsupported when I saw him.
The only person with him was his older sister, S., who was 27. Seeing these two in my clinic was particularly heart-wrenching because they were the same age as my brother and I. I know you're a proud big sister too, so you can only imagine all of the projection that was going on during this clinical encounter. S. and N. were remarkably kind and loving people. S. held her brother's hand during the entire visit, and even stood by him while I did the bone marrow. At the end of the visit, I had to tell them that N. had less than a 30% chance of surviving the first month. As the porters wheeled N. upstairs, S. and I sat in the clinic room and cried. She kept thanking me for what I was doing for them, and I kept thinking that I really wasn't able to do very much.
N. had a really horrible course in hospital - multiple infections, every side effect from chemo that you could imagine. I ended up losing touch with him and his sister, because I moved to another hospital. But I thought about them often. In fact, I used the painful memory of our first encounter as my #1 reason NOT to continue in malignant hematology.
Last week I was helping out in a bone marrow transplant clinic, and the nurse asked if I could do a routine screening on a new donor. That new donor was S. To my suprise and delight, N. had survived induction chemotherapy. He was in a tenuous remission, and his sister (a perfect match) was going to give him the chance of a lasting cure by donating her marrow. S. and I hadn't seen each other in months, and the first thing she said was "Dr. M, I was hoping it would be you! I wouldn't let anyone else do a bone marrow on me!" Which was a weird compliment... But I took it nonetheless :) I was so happy that things had come full circle. In January S. told me that she would do anything to save her brother's life. I had to reorient her, and help her prepare for the worst. Without taking away her hope, I had to help her realize that we could do our best, but could not control N's fate. Last week I got to do a much better job. I got to tell S. that this time, she was in control. She could give her brother the most amazing gift - the gift of life. There were lots of tears this time as well, but they were much happier :)
That was a very long winded email, but... bottom line: Thank you for running for leukemia and lymphoma. They are horrible diseases, but in the midst of all the sadness there is so much hope! I would love if you could wear one ribbon to celebrate the lives of all the families I have had the privilege of caring for - those who had happy endings, and those who have left us with happy memories.
XOXO M.
---
this email brought me to tears. thank you, m, for having the courage to send me a personal story. i am running for you, as a doctor working with cancer patients, and for the patients you work with. what i find hope in are the number of people who are finding hope through this form of love and giving back.
from: M@hotmail.com
subject: re: Thank you!
date: 8/27/07
Hi Chai!
Thanks for giving me the opportunity to donate, and please continue nagging my brother to do the same :) (He has the best intentions, but the sheer force of his laziness overwhelms them...) I had been meaning to donate for some time, but the event that finally prompted me to conquer my laziness was a visit from one of my most memorable patients.
As you know, my specialty is blood disease - so I cover benign hematology (ie. blood clots, bleeding) and malignant hematology (leukemia, lymphoma, bone marrow transplant). My career is weighted towards the former, because though the latter is very challenging and interesting, it's overwhelmingly sad. The first leukemia patient I saw when I moved to Toronto was a 23 year old man. N. presented like all leukemia patients - suddenly and terrifyingly. He was well one morning, and then the next morning his entire bone marrow was taken over by leukemia cells. He was septic, bleeding, and too weak to walk unsupported when I saw him.
The only person with him was his older sister, S., who was 27. Seeing these two in my clinic was particularly heart-wrenching because they were the same age as my brother and I. I know you're a proud big sister too, so you can only imagine all of the projection that was going on during this clinical encounter. S. and N. were remarkably kind and loving people. S. held her brother's hand during the entire visit, and even stood by him while I did the bone marrow. At the end of the visit, I had to tell them that N. had less than a 30% chance of surviving the first month. As the porters wheeled N. upstairs, S. and I sat in the clinic room and cried. She kept thanking me for what I was doing for them, and I kept thinking that I really wasn't able to do very much.
N. had a really horrible course in hospital - multiple infections, every side effect from chemo that you could imagine. I ended up losing touch with him and his sister, because I moved to another hospital. But I thought about them often. In fact, I used the painful memory of our first encounter as my #1 reason NOT to continue in malignant hematology.
Last week I was helping out in a bone marrow transplant clinic, and the nurse asked if I could do a routine screening on a new donor. That new donor was S. To my suprise and delight, N. had survived induction chemotherapy. He was in a tenuous remission, and his sister (a perfect match) was going to give him the chance of a lasting cure by donating her marrow. S. and I hadn't seen each other in months, and the first thing she said was "Dr. M, I was hoping it would be you! I wouldn't let anyone else do a bone marrow on me!" Which was a weird compliment... But I took it nonetheless :) I was so happy that things had come full circle. In January S. told me that she would do anything to save her brother's life. I had to reorient her, and help her prepare for the worst. Without taking away her hope, I had to help her realize that we could do our best, but could not control N's fate. Last week I got to do a much better job. I got to tell S. that this time, she was in control. She could give her brother the most amazing gift - the gift of life. There were lots of tears this time as well, but they were much happier :)
That was a very long winded email, but... bottom line: Thank you for running for leukemia and lymphoma. They are horrible diseases, but in the midst of all the sadness there is so much hope! I would love if you could wear one ribbon to celebrate the lives of all the families I have had the privilege of caring for - those who had happy endings, and those who have left us with happy memories.
XOXO M.
---
this email brought me to tears. thank you, m, for having the courage to send me a personal story. i am running for you, as a doctor working with cancer patients, and for the patients you work with. what i find hope in are the number of people who are finding hope through this form of love and giving back.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Inspiration: Daddy
I was never really a daddy's girl, but more of daddy's little tomboy. As I grew up, I tried to emulate my dad as much as possible. And then, of course, I became a teenager and rebelled against everyone, including him.
While I ran eighteen miles* yesterday, I kept thinking of my dad. He is a true inspiration to me, particularly while marathon training. He became a marathoner later in life, as a health conscious revolution took place inside of my household. I remember eating more green salads, watching my dad drink carrot juice, and seeing him lose weight. I even remember attending my dad's first marathon. It was in Monterey. And I remember him being really tired afterwards.
My dad has done a total of five marathons. FIVE.
Even though he has stopped running marathons due to weaker knees, my dad still runs every week, at least ten miles. He is a trooper and does it without much complaining.
So as I ran through the streets of Manhattan, I thought of Daddy and all that he has accomplished. I hope to cross the finish line and give him a big hug!
*Yes, I did eighteen miles on my birthday. Yes, it was amazingly hard. Yes, I am STILL tired and recovering. My route was a bit crazy, but the weather made the running that much more worse.
While I ran eighteen miles* yesterday, I kept thinking of my dad. He is a true inspiration to me, particularly while marathon training. He became a marathoner later in life, as a health conscious revolution took place inside of my household. I remember eating more green salads, watching my dad drink carrot juice, and seeing him lose weight. I even remember attending my dad's first marathon. It was in Monterey. And I remember him being really tired afterwards.
My dad has done a total of five marathons. FIVE.
Even though he has stopped running marathons due to weaker knees, my dad still runs every week, at least ten miles. He is a trooper and does it without much complaining.
So as I ran through the streets of Manhattan, I thought of Daddy and all that he has accomplished. I hope to cross the finish line and give him a big hug!
*Yes, I did eighteen miles on my birthday. Yes, it was amazingly hard. Yes, I am STILL tired and recovering. My route was a bit crazy, but the weather made the running that much more worse.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
running on emotions
yesterday was quite an emotional day for me. i'll start from the beginning.
i woke up at 5:30AM to my cell phone alarm. i laid in bed for a few mins and jumped up to start my breakfast. i cut my bagel in half, popped into the toaster, and started doing the dishes. the bagels were toasted so i spread some trader joe's tapenada on it. this time, i wore a running shirt with a pocket. since there was no bag watch, i had to bring my metro card, money, and keys with me.
i stepped out of my apartment at 7:15, ready to take on this run. it was chilly. the wind almost toppled my hat off my head. i made a quick stop at the deli for some gatorade (mango flavored) and started walking towards 6th Avenue. i caught the 2 train to 72nd street. i sat on the subway without any reading material, so i watched other passengers. it felt a bit odd, voyeuristic really, to be looking at people who were riding the same subway car as you at 7:35 in the morning.
i made it to riverside park on time. everyone had goosebumps. not only was it cold (a mere 55F), but there was a lot of wind. we listened to our coach who gave us directions for our run. we started running. my teammate, lori, and i kept pace with one another.
we ran from 72nd and west to chambers. from chambers we ran to the brooklyn bridge. from brooklyn bridge we took a left, then a right on to flatbush. from flatbush, we ran up to prospect park. while in prospect park, we did one big loop, a hill run, and then a small loop. in total, we ran about 15 miles [check the route here].
running across brooklyn bridge was probably the most emotional event i have ever done. i said to lori, "i can't believe i'm in new york, running across the brooklyn bridge, raising money to fight cancer." if you would have told me, last year, that this is what i would be doing, i would not have believed you. i'm a bit in shock. fine, i'm really in shock. the BROOKLYN BRIDGE!
egads.
it was the toughest run as of yet. the hills, the mental game, the anguish of just wanting the run to be over. but i did it! next week, i'm supposed to be running 16.
i woke up at 5:30AM to my cell phone alarm. i laid in bed for a few mins and jumped up to start my breakfast. i cut my bagel in half, popped into the toaster, and started doing the dishes. the bagels were toasted so i spread some trader joe's tapenada on it. this time, i wore a running shirt with a pocket. since there was no bag watch, i had to bring my metro card, money, and keys with me.
i stepped out of my apartment at 7:15, ready to take on this run. it was chilly. the wind almost toppled my hat off my head. i made a quick stop at the deli for some gatorade (mango flavored) and started walking towards 6th Avenue. i caught the 2 train to 72nd street. i sat on the subway without any reading material, so i watched other passengers. it felt a bit odd, voyeuristic really, to be looking at people who were riding the same subway car as you at 7:35 in the morning.
i made it to riverside park on time. everyone had goosebumps. not only was it cold (a mere 55F), but there was a lot of wind. we listened to our coach who gave us directions for our run. we started running. my teammate, lori, and i kept pace with one another.
we ran from 72nd and west to chambers. from chambers we ran to the brooklyn bridge. from brooklyn bridge we took a left, then a right on to flatbush. from flatbush, we ran up to prospect park. while in prospect park, we did one big loop, a hill run, and then a small loop. in total, we ran about 15 miles [check the route here].
running across brooklyn bridge was probably the most emotional event i have ever done. i said to lori, "i can't believe i'm in new york, running across the brooklyn bridge, raising money to fight cancer." if you would have told me, last year, that this is what i would be doing, i would not have believed you. i'm a bit in shock. fine, i'm really in shock. the BROOKLYN BRIDGE!
egads.
it was the toughest run as of yet. the hills, the mental game, the anguish of just wanting the run to be over. but i did it! next week, i'm supposed to be running 16.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
fundraising fun
i'm seriously overwhelmed by the love and support i am getting from strangers, friends, family, co-workers, law school classmates, high school classmates, oldtimers, new timers, adults, teens....seriously amazing.
on wednesday, august 15, 2007, i crossed the $5000 mark in my fundraising. yippee!
now, i've raised the bar to take the fundraising to a new level. i want to raise $7500 in ONE month.
help me do this!
do it for all the people, or people's people you know affected by cancer. moms who have passed away due to breast cancer. dads who have had to deal with the blow of hearing the words "prostate cancer." sisters who weren't able to attend their senior prom because they passed away to leukemia. brothers who envied other children because they could play ball outside in the summer sun, while they lay there battling lymphoma. friends who called out for help in times of chemo, while you were enjoying a "regular college life."
do it for them, for those, and others you don't even know.
if you have donated, please help me out and pass on this blog and fundraising website to your friends, family, and co-workers. i truly believe people want to help.
by donating, not only are you saving lives TODAY, you will be saving lives for generations to come after us.
http://www.active.com/donate/tntnyc/runchai
on wednesday, august 15, 2007, i crossed the $5000 mark in my fundraising. yippee!
now, i've raised the bar to take the fundraising to a new level. i want to raise $7500 in ONE month.
help me do this!
do it for all the people, or people's people you know affected by cancer. moms who have passed away due to breast cancer. dads who have had to deal with the blow of hearing the words "prostate cancer." sisters who weren't able to attend their senior prom because they passed away to leukemia. brothers who envied other children because they could play ball outside in the summer sun, while they lay there battling lymphoma. friends who called out for help in times of chemo, while you were enjoying a "regular college life."
do it for them, for those, and others you don't even know.
if you have donated, please help me out and pass on this blog and fundraising website to your friends, family, and co-workers. i truly believe people want to help.
by donating, not only are you saving lives TODAY, you will be saving lives for generations to come after us.
http://www.active.com/donate/tntnyc/runchai
Fourteen miles and then some
on saturday i ran fourteen POINT four miles. yes, writing out the numbers makes the miles seem a bigger deal than they actually are. seriously, if you read 14.4 would it have made as big of an impact as fourteen point four miles? but, i digress.
i wasn't that sore and even was pleasant at a BBQ my husband prepared for us. it was PERFECT running weather. what does that mean? it means there was a slight breeze, barely any humidity, and the sun wasn't blazing hot.
i did do that was a bit silly (read: lesson for runners) on the saturday run. while i was leaving my apartment at 7:15 in the morning, i decided not to take my fuel belt. i have really bad memories of running around in that belt and it causing me alot of stomach pain.
i went to the deli and bought a gatorade that i could hold in my hand while running (i prefer this method). as soon as i got to the subway station, i realized that my running outfit had no pockets. and since we were running long distance, i needed gel.
i got to urban athletics, our bag drop place, and bought cliff shots. i decided on the subway ride over to central park, i would put the gel in my sports bra. after the successful run, i went home and jumped in the shower. and i immediately felt a burn in the chest area as the water hit my skin. i looked down and there was a small red circle. it looked like i started chaffing, a runner's nightmare.
now i know. pockets/safety pins are KEY.
two days ago, i ran with the group in central park (CP). we did cross training exercises that included squats, sprints, scissor runs, hamstring lifts, and crunches galore. i actually heart cross training. there is something about working all the muscle groups that makes going to sleep that much better.
this saturday, i will be running from riverside park to prospect park (10 miles) and then doing two loops in PP. i can't wait to run across the brooklyn bridge.
i wasn't that sore and even was pleasant at a BBQ my husband prepared for us. it was PERFECT running weather. what does that mean? it means there was a slight breeze, barely any humidity, and the sun wasn't blazing hot.
i did do that was a bit silly (read: lesson for runners) on the saturday run. while i was leaving my apartment at 7:15 in the morning, i decided not to take my fuel belt. i have really bad memories of running around in that belt and it causing me alot of stomach pain.
i went to the deli and bought a gatorade that i could hold in my hand while running (i prefer this method). as soon as i got to the subway station, i realized that my running outfit had no pockets. and since we were running long distance, i needed gel.
i got to urban athletics, our bag drop place, and bought cliff shots. i decided on the subway ride over to central park, i would put the gel in my sports bra. after the successful run, i went home and jumped in the shower. and i immediately felt a burn in the chest area as the water hit my skin. i looked down and there was a small red circle. it looked like i started chaffing, a runner's nightmare.
now i know. pockets/safety pins are KEY.
two days ago, i ran with the group in central park (CP). we did cross training exercises that included squats, sprints, scissor runs, hamstring lifts, and crunches galore. i actually heart cross training. there is something about working all the muscle groups that makes going to sleep that much better.
this saturday, i will be running from riverside park to prospect park (10 miles) and then doing two loops in PP. i can't wait to run across the brooklyn bridge.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
i'm alive!
i apologize for not writing in the past few weeks. work has been eating up most of my free time, leaving me with very little time to run. yesterday was my first run in seven days. i haven't gone that long with NO running since i started training for the marathon.
when i wasn't running, i felt sluggish. i hope this translates into: running = daily habit, even after the marathon.
over the past two months, i have raised over $3000. i have $2000 more to go! i'm a bit nervous of not making it, but i know i can.
over the same amount of time i have:
when i wasn't running, i felt sluggish. i hope this translates into: running = daily habit, even after the marathon.
over the past two months, i have raised over $3000. i have $2000 more to go! i'm a bit nervous of not making it, but i know i can.
over the same amount of time i have:
- Ran 11 miles without stopping!
- Ran the fastest miles i have ever ran in my life!
- Participated in my first 10K since 8th grade and did fairly well!
- Ran in a thunderstorm!
- Raised more money than I ever thought I could!
Monday, July 9, 2007
What a Week!
I am still on a Saturday run high. I ran 11 miles at a 11:00 min/mile rate and was not even the least bit tired. We trained in Central Park. My husband and I got to Central Park at 6:30A to stand in the Shakespeare in the Park line. It was the last weekend for Romeo and Juliet. Around 7:40A, I walked over to 72nd Street entrance, the TnT meeting site.
I ran with my mentor teammates, Emily and Lori, and another mentor Melissa. What I love about team training is what you talk about. We chatted about so many random things. And you feel the running connection- much like a connection you make with a person while volunteering, coaching, working.
So, I ran the farthest I have ran in this training. My only pain was a weak left knee. I iced it when we got back home.
And no, we didn't get tickets to the play. But, what a great way to spend a beautiful Saturday.
I ran with my mentor teammates, Emily and Lori, and another mentor Melissa. What I love about team training is what you talk about. We chatted about so many random things. And you feel the running connection- much like a connection you make with a person while volunteering, coaching, working.
So, I ran the farthest I have ran in this training. My only pain was a weak left knee. I iced it when we got back home.
And no, we didn't get tickets to the play. But, what a great way to spend a beautiful Saturday.
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